Work life balance.....WHAAAAAT?

It's almost two months since I started working full time. BOY OH BOY! Studying and working at the same time is no joke. I honestly don't know how others do it; come home from work and continue with their e-learning cause I crashed hard. 

On a side note, I'm beyond grateful for the people I work with. Always so helpful and willing to go the extra mile to show me the ropes. Alhamdulillah!

All in the past now

Au revoir Robert Gordon Uni!

Definitely took longer than I expected but Alhamdulillah I'm done with it. Achieving a new milestone one at a time inshaallah!

Done and dusted

Let's give this blog a minute of silence for being ignored. 

Two months have passed since I've started my final year. The amount of dramas and tears shed easily beat the other years though I say it all the time. This year though, the more I try to ignore, the more I get hurt. I have to admit, I have always been a people pleaser. Tough job I must say.  It's a slow process but inshaallah one day, it will all be worth it.

I miss us but thank you for showing me who you really are. 

I'd still want to run back to their arms each time I see them.

It's been almost 2 weeks now since I've finally arrived back in Aberdeen. So many things happened. A dear friend completed her masters and left for Singapore, 2 different assessments, been to 3 different cities within a week and finally got a culture shock as soon as induction started.

When I left Singapore, dear ones came to send me off. Hugged everyone except my own family members. We've never had that kind of a relationship. Can't remember when was the last time I hugged mum. I wanted to hug both mum and dad so bad that night but when i saw how red mum's eyes were, I decided not to. I knew I'd burst into tears if I did. Left with a heavy heart and I pray that He'll keep them safe.

Eidul Adha gathering yesterday went as great as it has always been Alhamdulillah! For a moment I actually forgot all my worries. 

May He protect us all and ease all our affairs in moving towards our dreams and goals.

Appreciating every moment I have with you. 

Adulting

Had a HTHT conversation with my sister the other day on skype and it broke my heart to see her cry. She had a dilemma about the job she was already offered back at home and another one in Japan. She doesn't want to leave my parents but she feels the pay will be able to help us in the future. Long story short, we did a breakdown of the pay she was offered from both places and I can't help but to think of mine as well. See, the difference about working in your home country is that, you do not have to set aside cash for your house unless of course you're married with your own property.

But if you work abroad, you'll have to set aside for housing which takes up a huuuuge portion of your pay and you're just renting it. Mind you, it's almost half of the pay I'm going to get when I do my pre-reg here inshaa Allah. Unlike her, I do not have a choice. I have to complete my pre-reg here before going back home. I honestly don't care even though some would say that I am being ahead of myself. Planning for something that will only take place in about 2 years inshaa Allah but hey, it's better to be prepared right?

May Allah make it easy for us to transition from students to adults inshaa Allah.

Thank you.

Be grateful for 

whoever comes,

because each has been

sent as a guide from

beyond.

Rumi

Sometimes I question your existence in my life.

Maybe you came at a time where I didn't know how to be grateful. 

Maybe you came because I didn't remember Him enough. 

Maybe you came because I was greedy. 

Maybe...

I'll learn something from this. 

Whatever it is, thank you.

For I am now trying to be at peace. 

Thank you, for teaching me to put myself first before everyone else.

Thank you, for teaching me to be independent.

Thank you for making me emotionally and mentally strong.

If these are the reasons you're here, 

Thank you.

One can never say thank you enough.

Yet another post after a long hiatus.

Semester 1 had officially ended a week ago with exams out of the way too. I'm still getting panic attacks and blanked out every now and then but I've learnt to cope with it. I hope so. The worse feeling is not knowing how you did but tawakkal. You've worked hard for it and did your best so leave it all to Allah. 

Semester 2 in two weeks time but first! let's enjoy this little bit of freedom before all the interviews and literature review comes. And oh, looks like we'll have an extra year in the UK after graduation after all. Bismillah!

This is totally not related to the post but hey, I'd like you to admire my ribbon, my trademark. Til next time.

Shik's adventure in the kitchen!

Ignore the mess but soo proud of my masterpiece. Needs some green stuff to make it pretty but that's about it. Ayam masak merah in Aberdeen! 

Okay now back to revision. 

Inverness has been awesome Alhamdulillah! Although I barely did anything, I consider it as my break before the hectic year begins. Saw the timetable and got into a panic attack mode in return. The craziness awaits yet here I am taking my own sweet time. 

Made friends with the cleaning lady since I've been here. Fun fact, her son was born in Singapore in '75. She was there around '73 or the year after because her then husband was deployed there and she loved it there! Anyhoos, she told me to stay away from London for the time being because of what's been happening. If there is a need to be there, I should bring my partner along in my purse. HAHAHAHA

YES SHE SAID TO PUT HIM IN MY PURSE. 

Back to Aberdeen tomorrow and pray that I maintain my sanity throughout the year.

Of baby's breath and roses

Ignore the awkward smile and creased hijab but let's take a moment and admire the beauty of the roses and baby's breath. Masya'allah! 

Things were getting too intense these days but receiving these babies was a nice change. Thank you you. 😊

I doubt anyone will ever understand this feeling. The feeling of not being able to produce results, lacking behind others and more. It isn't jealousy nor is it disappointment. 

They say move foward and look on the bright side but why does it feel like I'm still stuck in the alley?

I should have been there today but I guess HE has better plans for me. I'm not one to ask for sympathy but I'd just want people to understand that certain things are better to be left unsaid. 

I am flabbergasted by the bombing that happened in Manchester. It's despicable knowing that someone thinks of killing young and innocent people as jihad.

In all honesty, when i heard of the bombing, the first thing that came to my head was ''It has to be a muslim..'' 

We've all been programmed to think and target that one particular religion the moment something like this occurs. Being a muslim myself, this is something that I'm not proud of. There is so much beauty in Islam but yet a handful of people had to destroy and corrupt the beauty by doing horrible things. 

What did the children and innocent do to deserve this? 

And there he goes. 8 months came and went by. Friendships forged and now we have a friend from Tokyo! 

Safe trip to Phuket and back to Tokyo Tasuke Kato! 😊

Ana finally turned 23! 

The baby of the family isnt a baby anymore. I had envisioned the cake cutting ceremony to be slightly more enjoyable but I should have known better. Putting so much effort into something will always backfire. The chances of having something go according to plan is soooo slim that I'd be surprised if there wasn't a hiccup. 

Turning 23, going on a Europe trip in less than a week. Returning two weeks later, only to fly off again to Japan for another three months. You better miss me kid. Who's going to accompany me to sleep now? 

World peace

Two years ago, my friends and i decided to go for a trip to Istanbul. My mum who was fine with it initially became very protective and suddenly told me to change my plans. 

"I dont mind you going for a holiday in the EU. It's safer there. Just not Istanbul. It's not safe.." 

I went ahead with much convincing in December. A month or two later, there was a bombing that occured near where I stayed. I was deeply shakened by it. Alhamdulillah! Allah has decided that it wasn't my time to go. 

Fast forward to today, I've received news that there was another act of terror in Stockholm. Astarghfirullah hal 'azim. The EU/UK is no longer safe. I've faced discrimination in the UK and that was before all these act of terrors became predominant. 

Thanks to a small group of people who thought that Jihad is all about killing non-muslims, wars and terror. They forgot that Jihad comes in many forms too. 

Jihad literally means struggle or strive. Jihad is struggling or striving in the way or sake of Allah. The greatest jihad is jihad of the heart and soul. Jihad of the nafs. To be able to refrain oneself from the whispers of shaitan. 

May Allah protect those of us who are there to seek knowledge, rezeki and happiness from any harm and discrimination. 

As cliche as it may sound, my only wish and prayer is for world peace where different religions are able to live side by side in harmony. 

Barakallah hu lakuma wa baraka alikuma Wa jamaah baina kuma fii khair (=

So my buddy just got married last weekend. Funny how we clicked almost instantly when we barely knew each other during our secondary school days. Of course being two out of the three girls in our platoon helped with the fact that we did not have much of a choice. heh!
And like many others, we drifted apart when we were busy with other commitments after we left the institution but somehow by Allah's will, we came back together and got closer with a few other boys. Alhamdulillah!

I must say though, she is my definition of determination or perhaps someone stubborn headed. It is up to you how you would like to look at it. All we need to remember is that we are ultimately the creations of Allah s.w.t and that everything we've experienced and what we have right now were planned by Him. we need to have faith in Him. Ask Him for guidance should we feel helpless about something and thank Him for everything.

''They plan, and Allah plans surely Allah is the best of planners.'' The Qur'an 8:30 (Surah Al-Anfal)

Listen to your body.

You know you're screwed big time when you're already perspiring 10 MINUTES into the activity. Not when you've estimated it to be about 2-3 hours of cycling. It didn't feel right to me and Alhamdulillah I'm glad I made the decision to stop and told my uncle I was tired. Mind you, that was probably about 15 minutes since we started? And we were planning to cycle to MBS. (ECP pun tak lepas shik 😂)

Long story short, I broke into cold sweat, could barely stand and I couldn't really tell what's in front of me. They finally made the decision to turn back and sent me home. 

So here's a picture before everything happened. Kind of glad I stopped cause it would have been chaotic if we were already halfway through. 

Alhamdulillah

Its true when they say have patience in everything that you do and insya'allah you'll be rewarded. It has proven to be true today. Alhamdulillah! 

"May you receive good karma in your life"

I don't believe in karma but when a non-muslim wishes you that, you know they mean well. 

Ps: I've finally updated my blog. Let me know when you see this note >.<